I’ve neglected this little space and I regret it. However, there hasn’t been much reading or cooking happening the last few months. Let me explain…
I’m sitting here, at 4am, 8.5 months pregnant on a modified bed rest that I suspect will be turning into a true bed rest any day now. I’ve wanted to blog about my journey, after infertility/miscarriage, so badly but I haven’t been able to do the task publicly. Why? Let’s call it paralyzing fear. While I’ve gone through the motions of having baby showers, registering for super cute little items (and the bigger items, too), and putting together a nursery with the help of Dan, I hadn’t fully accepted this whole thing. I’ve been waiting for the shoe to drop so to speak.
The first 3 months, I hid the pregnancy from everyone except Dan. I didn’t even tell my Mom…which was the hardest thing ever. Once we told our parents, things only became somewhat real. I would attend appointments with the doctor or go to an ultrasound and essentially look the other way as they checked on the baby. I couldn’t bare to fall in love with something that I didn’t believe would stick around. Because of my age and history, I’m considered high risk… So I got to take advantage of DNA testing. I had the NT testing done-baby passed with flying colors. The DNA testing further revealed that my baby is 100% healthy. (No, this still didn’t help me believe it was actually happening) We also learned, very early on, that we would be having a little girl. Gotta love that DNA testing!
I was actually pretty sick. When they tell you about morning sickness, they forget to tell you that it’s actually ALL DAY SICKNESS. And can last much longer than just the first trimester. It was only around week 32 that I stopped feeling constantly sick. We finally told family, but kept it from friends for a bit longer. We did finally make it ‘facebook official’ and received so much love and support.
We’ve had a few scares that have landed me in Labor and Delivery. Everything always checks out perfectly, including Baby Girl.
I constantly tired and because of my issues and history, the doctor put me on a modified version of bed rest. I’m allowed to cook and do laundry…but I’m only supposed to do a limited amount of driving and walking. I landed in the doctors office on Feb. 8 due to a constant headache and light headed feeling. They did a non-stress test and while everything sounded and looked good with Baby Girl, my BP had gone a little higher than we liked and I have a trace amount of protein in my urine. I was sent for labs and then sent home with orders to take my BP twice a day and do a 24hr urine. The glamorous parts of being pregnant….
At almost 35 weeks pregnant and feeling this little lady have a dance party in my belly, I finally think this is going to happen. We have a name picked out and while I’m terrified, I’m really excited. We are due on St. Patrick’s Day….but I really don’t think it’s going to be much longer.
So what does this have to do with reading and cooking? Somehow, I lost my ability to concentrate on reading. I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things, but it’s been quite some time since I’ve been able to read an entire book. Mostly, I start them and lose interest. Quickly. And my cooking…well, chicken, in any form, has been making me sick. The smell of meat cooking is not a good time…. So, I haven’t been trying many new recipes. Dan’s been a saint and helping A LOT.
Another thing of note- I’m now a momma of only two dogs. We lost our sweet female boxer, Buckeye to cancer in the early fall. It actually happened so quickly that we didn’t even really have time to think about it. She had pancreatic cancer that was presenting as a different disease. So we treated that disease until it was obvious that it wasn’t working. I miss my sweet girl like crazy but am totally convinced that God did this for a reason. I had my sweet cuddly girl to get me through all the losses and pain. And while I think she would have made an amazing big sister, I don’t think she could have dealt with having another princess around. She was meant to be the only princess. (Don’t think I didn’t contemplate using Buckeye as a middle name…we aren’t. But it’s something I would do.)
So that’s what has been going on around here. I’ll be blogging more, hopefully. I have quite a few books gathered from my favorite authors and I actually can’t wait to get into them. And over the last few weeks, I’ve been cooking more so I have recipes to share! Stay tuned!